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One Year From Now


Timothy first 30 days

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Our tribute to what God has done in Timothy and our lives.


Life with a preemie #15

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Timothy came home on Tuesday afternoon. I went in to the hospital on Tuesday morning, prepared to duke it out with the doctor to let Timothy go home. Turns out he was just waiting for me to tell him that I was ready. Because he was going home on oxygen and still having higher needs than a normal newborn coupled with the fact that we had been there for nearly 13 weeks, we needed to be ready. Now that we've been home for two days I don't know if one could ever be ready for this!



Life with a preemie #14

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Today is eleven weeks that Timothy has been in the hospital. He has never felt wind on his face. He's never felt sun on his skin. He's never been held by his siblings. He's never had a bath with Daddy. But those things are all coming. Hospital life with a preemie does eventually end and the end for Timothy is rapidly approaching.

Today I bought formula for the first time ever. Even though I pray that he will eventually be exclusively breastfed, he will need extra calories and protein in his milk in the interim. The cost almost made me choke, but I would happily skip a meal every day if that's what it took to provide what he needs to be healthy. I have linen for his cradle. I have many, many diapers and wipes, thanks to many of you! His carseat is clean and ready to carry him home. I've been practicing wrapping my Moby Wrap, which will keep him snug against me to comfort both me and him. I've been stocking the pantry and the freezer in preparation for days with a newborn because even though he is nearly three months old, he is just like a newborn. My mother-in-law has purchased her plane tickets and will arrive January 5 for a month-long visit to help us during this transition.



Life with a preemie #13

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I'm sitting in the hospital cafeteria waiting for my mom to bring me lunch. She has been my most regular visitor to the hospital. When I first started out here on bedrest she came every day, bringing me burgers from In n Out or new pajamas. After Timothy was born she would pick up our laundry and bring it back clean and folded. The other day she came over while I was at the hospital and made soup for our dinner so we didn't have to think about it.

Life with a preemie requires a lot of help from other people. People have volunteered oodles of hours to help us with our kids. We have received cash, checks, and gift cards. Friends have dropped off food and baby clothes. My friends have come to pray with me when I just didn't think I could make it another minute.

This has been a long haul. We are going on ten weeks. Or is it eleven? Just since Timothy was born. And I was in the hospital for two weeks before that. I am getting worn out. I have honestly never experienced anything like this and I pray I never do again.

I have no deep spiritual application to share but I want to say thanks to everyone that has helped us in so many different ways.


Life with a preemie #12

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Tomorrow Timothy will be two months old. He has been in the hospital 60 days. At least 60 trips to and from the hospital. 60 times of identifying myself to the receptionist and giving her my special number. 60 times of walking out of the hospital empty handed. 60 nights of broken sleep so I could pump for a baby I could not see. I have learned that life with a preemie is a waiting game and if you wait long enough you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Timothy is 34 weeks now and this is the age when they learn the suck, swallow, breathe pattern that is required to eat by mouth. He has been given a bottle two times but has a weak suck so took less than ten mls each time. I have put him to the breast a few times and he is learning who momma is.

He is starting to regulate his own temperature and they are talking about putting clothes on him. He is nearing the magic weight of 1800 grams which he has to be before going home. Last night I had the privilege of giving him a bath. Such a normal thing. He had his eyes open, looking up at me, and I was talking to him and said "Hi! I'm your mommy! We will have lots of bathtimes together." It was so normal.

The waiting is paying off and one day, in the near future, I will walk out of the hospital one last time, with my arms full.


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